A word from the Secret Estate Agent...

In 2009, I was unfairly sacked from my job at a very well-known estate agents.

I had done nothing and was merely taking the flack for a massive cock-up from a total wanker of a colleague.

So I started secretly tapping his phone calls to prove to my boss that this guy was a total chump. And I struck gold....

The films that I am releasing over the next 8 weeks will expose this tosser and hopefully bury him.

I am the Secret Estate Agent. And revenge is sweet...

Thursday, 22 April 2010

"My mate Janet Street Porter is really cute"

If a female friend tells you that one of her mates is "really cute", it does not mean, in any way, that she is attractive to the male species. I don't like Janet Street Porter, Miss Piggy or Darius Danesh at the best of times, but when they're amalgamated into one human being, it's time for me to make my apologies and leave. However, I didn't do that last night. No. I decided that booze was the best way forward, so downed a bottle of wine, and then decided that her enormous teeth, hairy top lip, and suprisingly awful chat were not up to my standards, before stumbling out the bar and into a cab. Annoyingly, I slightly walked into the door on my exit which slightly ruined my dramatic exit.

So life is really good at present. No job, no Tim baiting, no bird, no cash. Thanks for those with the kind words of encouragement regarding Tim. Rumour has it that he has started seeing another estate agent in his office who has just joined. Be a shame for her to find out what he gets up to in his spare time.......I'm still hopeful about releasing a couple more phone conversations that I have on my computer. Jail isn't looking such a bad option at the moment anyway. Least I might get some action.


1 comment:

john.s said...

I understand that the "phone tapping" is a joke and youve created them well putting on several voices etc. keep them going but theres no need for the terrible emails and all that crap which makes it too unbelievable. leave all that crap out and focus on the youtbe stuff cos it gives me a laugh. the bullshiat emails and stuff don't