A word from the Secret Estate Agent...

In 2009, I was unfairly sacked from my job at a very well-known estate agents.

I had done nothing and was merely taking the flack for a massive cock-up from a total wanker of a colleague.

So I started secretly tapping his phone calls to prove to my boss that this guy was a total chump. And I struck gold....

The films that I am releasing over the next 8 weeks will expose this tosser and hopefully bury him.

I am the Secret Estate Agent. And revenge is sweet...

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Countdown to the General Erection - Cameron joins 'Le Teets' bandwagon

So, it's now less than 48 hrs before we find out who is to be our next illustrious leader (read bullshit mongerer). I know for a fact that young Timothy will be voting Conservative. I know this because the last time I was stalking him and trying to take a piss in his front garden, I noticed that he had one of those nauseating 'Vote Conservative' banners erected. I thought only people over 45 did that kind of thing? Fairly sure it is Daddy's influence though. Then again, with the kind of millions he's due to inherit, it makes sense for him to vote for one of his old school buddies who can watch his back.

Anyway, the flights are booked, fake passports to the ready, comedy fake Fu Manchu moustache acquired. Mexico here we come! Yup, I'm biting the bullet and releasing the next film imminently. Whilst jail in the UK didn't seem such a bad option (now that Boy George has been released), the kind offer from Phil Collins, Julie Walters and the Four Tops at their ranch in Acapulco was just too hard to resist (name the film?!).

Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I love spicy food anyway.

Pasta Revista Baby

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